Friday, September 6, 2013

An open letter to our newest tiny human..

Dear sweet baby Ben,

I don't know if you'll have a chance to check your Facebook today, so I wanted to give you some advance notice that tomorrow is the day they told us we should be expecting you.  Now, they do sort of arbitrarily hand out these dates to future mothers, getting our expectations up likely beyond what they should be. But just in case you are thinking about making an appearance in the next 24-48 hours, I wanted to present some reasons that could reinforce your very wise, well-made decision.

The first reason could be classified as a bit "selfish" on my part I suppose.

I'm just really so completely ready to not be pregnant anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I have considered it a tremendous privilege to carry your sweet little self in my belly for all these many, many, maaaany weeks now.  It is truly a miracle, one that makes it difficult for me to understand how anyone can carry a human life inside of them and not fully believe that there is a wildly creative God intricately involved in the process. "For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139: 13,14

Miraculous beauty aside, it's not that I don't adore feeling every sweet movement from your tiny God-crafted hands and feet, but I do wonder if you could work on maybe sprawling out in some less abrupt, invasive ways.  I have something called "vital organs" and they've voiced the concern that maybe you're not always entirely giving them the room they need to be comfortable and to adequately function.  Not your fault, just a suggestion.

Reason number 2 to enter the world soon is that we are SO excited to finally meet you!  We've prayed for you and thanked the Lord for the opportunity to welcome a sweet little boy to our growing family.  You are a gift to us, and in return we have purchased a few "please be born soon" gifts for you, including but not limited to: a pony, a flat screen TV, a Hummer, a super hero cape used in the original "Superman" movies that we purchased from Planet Hollywood, and of course Disneyland.  I hope this proves both our love for you and the level of my pregnant desperation.

Also, your sister can never know of any of this...

Speaking of your sister, I think you'll really like her.  Your daddy and I have totally fallen in love with her over the past 28 months and although I think she believes there is a "Ben" living in everyone's stomach, I'm pretty sure she's excited to finally meet you.  You, my friend, will change her little life in some big ways. She's been practicing her diapering and swaddling skills on any doll or stuffed animal she can get her hands on. We'll give you a few days to get used to the world before we let her practice on you of course, but I really think this can be a win-win-win for all of us in the end.  I do apologize in advance if she includes your arms in the diapering.  The good news is you won't remember it, and I'll probably take the Facebook pictures of it down at some point before you become a teenager.

Also, your sister loves to snuggle (aka "snaugle") and she may inadvertently annoy/smother you in the process as you are tiny and defenseless (you'll make up for this eventually).  She means well.

We've done our best to buy a lot of gender neutral baby accessories the past few years, so you'll be pleased to find that your bathtub doesn't have any princesses on it, your swing is a bunny, none of your clothes will have Dora the Explorer on them, and we won't make you re-use your sister's pink pacifiers.  You're welcome.

Another key player in your life aside from your big sister Emma will be a guy called "Dada."  Now, you should know right from the beginning that you have the best Dada in the world.  Other kids might claim this too about their own fathers and that's fine.  We need a lot more wonderful dada's in the world.  But yours will be the center of your tiny human world and I could not imagine a more wonderful man for you to grow up with.  You will want to trade in your $30,000 vintage Superman cape for one of dada's plaid shirts. Trust me.

Some things to look forward to with this Dada guy are some really really fun adventures.  Your sister is proving to have quite the love for the outdoors, so I anticipate the 3 of you will spend a lot of quality time exploring the world together.  Mama will join most of the time, and then other times will travel off with Auntie Jaime (you'll love her too) to two very equally magical and adventurous places we call "Target" and "Starbucks."  These are special for Mama and help her to be a better human for you and your sister.

I'll go ahead and let you know that you're not being birthed into a perfect family.  Dada, despite being a superhero, and Mama, despite being a domestic genius, are still a bit flawed and broken.  We've come to terms with this mostly.  And I think you'll be better the sooner you realize it too.  We'll do our best to listen to you, include you and your sister in decisions, love and guide you the best we can (this involves something called "God's grace" but we'll get to that later..), and apologize when our brokenness shows through our parenting in ways we aren't very proud of.  We will all make mistakes in our delightful family but we have the privilege of growing together, learning together, and laughing a LOT.  Dada and I are very funny, in case I haven't told you, so we anticipate the same for you and Emma.  No pressure.

I feel like I've made a pretty good case here for being born tomorrow, or really really soon after that.  You will love this thing called "Birthdays" and I do appreciate you not being born on mine (please don't be born on mine)...

We cannot wait to finally meet and snuggle you!  Don't be freaked out, but we did see a 3D ultrasound this week to make sure all was well with you, and you admittedly resembled a tiny Winston Churchill with a mustache.  This is likely just a reflection of your deep maturity and wealth of character, rather than actual infant facial hair.  Your dada is proud either way.













We love you and have your (portion of our) room all ready!

~Mama, Dada and Emma

P.S. Your sister has already played with all of your toys.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

I'm a firm believer in not cluttering a blog with posts written within a year or less of each other.  Yearly blogging is what keeps the people coming back.  They call this writing element "Suspense."

Or "raising a tiny human with no leftover energy to blog."  Either way.

I tried to Tweet for a while there but I can't seem to work well within the restraints of 140 characters.  I'm an internal processor who likes to process via writing, so my hashtags alone end up exceeding the character limit.  #dontlimitmetwitter #howdoesmileycyrusdoit

I will share one of my most recent Tweets however, because it just deserves that kind of public exposure.

"Your eyebrows look really nice, they've really grown in!"  #stuffmymomsays #thankyou?

Since my last installment here, approximately 18 months ago, I've gotten some sleep, watched my baby turn into a delightful toddler, and decided to bake another kid inside of me who I hope to unveil to the world in the next 4 weeks or so.  No big deal.

I've developed a very well researched theory that the more your unborn child moves, the more calories you burn.  This is why I consumed TWO slices of tiramisu last night rather than just one.  You have to keep your strength up.  And the rum mostly burns off in the baking process.

In other news, we have a new kitty!

Sort of.


This is an artist's rendering of the four legged creature hat has wandered into our backyard the past two days.  My mom thinks it's a girl kitty because of the purple collar, but I still prefer to call it a "he."  Maybe so I won't get so attached.

My family is allergic to these delightful fuzzy creatures so we're limited to backyard kitties only.  He can sense we like him though as he's casually entered our home uninvited.  Twice.

Some questions my daughter has presented in regards to our new pet:

Emma: "Keeck da kitty?"
Me: "You want to kick the kitty?  With your foot?"
Emma: "Uh-huh"

Emma: "Kitty sving?"  (Translation: May I put the kitty on my swing?)
Emma: "Kitty snaugle?" (Translation: May I suffocate the kitty with my loving tiny embrace?)
Emma: "Kitty holding?" (Translation: Same as above but asked in a different way.)

I'm pleased to say that as of today the kitty has remained un-kicked, un-svung, and un-snaugled.

But who knows what will happen in the days to come.  And that, my friends, is again what they call suspense!