Overseer of tiny humans day

My children decided to bless me this Mother's Day weekend by sleeping through the night last night!  They were also up with the sun this morning, but rolled around in our bed and ate cheerios while watching that lady on YouTube who plays with playdoh and miniature Anna and Elsa dolls.  She probably does other things, like encouraging children to ask their parents for more toys, but my head is usually buried under a pillow during these absurdly early morning viewings.

Because I am well rested and have a few hours to myself today (thanks Nonna!), I'm able to calmly and lovingly reflect on motherhood with all its blessings, frustrations, and refining moments.

Never have I known such depths of love and awe....and then two minutes later the bleak abyss of utter frustration and rage.  I would think I was truly going crazy if I didn't hear confirmation from other mothers telling me this is normal.

Right?????

And if I begin to question whether the irrational creatures I encounter on a daily basis, shrieking like hyenas from the backseat of my car, eating stickers, and sobbing uncontrollably when their plate isn't the right color, are entirely unique to me, I simply consult The Honest Toddler.

Because I always strive to be educational when I blog, here are a few gems I've gleaned from motherhood:

-My former ability to have any sort of out loud thought or momentary self-processing is immediately hijacked by a tiny 4 year old voice chiming in with "What you said?"  I then make an annoyed face to an invisible off-screen television camera, ala Jim Halpert on The Office.

-Food tastes better when children are asleep.  I've tried not to eat at night, but it's too enticing.  Day time food tastes like tears of defeat.  And even those are cold by the time you're able to consume them :(

****Personal triumph: I once ate an entire snack size bag of Dortios right next to both of my children without either of them realizing.

-I've learned the art of asking forgiveness from a tiny human when I throw a royal full size human tantrum.  Not that I do.

-PBS is a life saver.  I will gladly sacrifice some of my children's (non-existent) college funds to contribute toward a proper education for them right now at the hands of a train with a British accent, a spy organization run by comedically gifted children, a half-naked tiger, and a monkey who is always assuredly rewarded for doing what he's asked not to do. Basically if it isn't Caillou, I support it.

-Hygiene is something I feel I am on top of if my children have been bathed within the last 2 weeks and hair brushed within the last 4 days.  Bonus points for when their ears are clean. They also have toothbrushes.  Somewhere.

-Certain things I never imagined would bring peace are a huge asset to me now, including messes that are wreaking havoc on various parts of my home, and yet allowing me to make dinner, go to the bathroom alone, or simply check Facebook (not that I do..)

-Spiders, flies, slugs, roly poly bugs, and various other creepy things I would have previously disposed of are now very beloved distractions that keep my children occupied for minutes upon seconds at a time.  That's all I ask for in life.

-I should never attempt to assemble ANYTHING with my children around.  I've learned this through our recent move.  Even stapling papers together at times is enough to bring us all to tears.  I'll never learn.

-Pinterest is both a virtual dream world for all I can accomplish as a wife, mother, and over all creative being...as well as a virtual graveyard of all I will never accomplish or have attempted to accomplish but had to then replace with a cheap burger and fries because my creation was inedible.

I've wasted so many sweet potatoes..

Here are the most important ingredients I've found for motherhood (you can pin this recipe):

-Jesus. I imagine I would have run away and my children would have been sold to the gypsies by now if it weren't for the grace of God in my life.  My kids are the best gift I have been given.  And they are a gift I honestly have NO idea what to do with much of the time apart from Jesus' wisdom and guidance.  I have learned a dependence I never knew previously.

-My own mom.  Not only have I gained a whole new respect for my mom, but she has been integral in the life of my kids and I love watching their relationship and the way they all delight in each other.

-Other women.  Some of my closest friends are mamas in a similar season of life to my own and they bring a great deal of sanity, humor and wisdom to the table.  And occasionally allergy-friendly cookies.

-If you haven't come across this, An open letter to pastors regarding Mother's Day, I highly recommend it.  It sums it up better than I can, but I am privileged to know some amazing women who may not have children of their own, and yet what they have helped birth within my life and the lives of so many others is beautiful and will continue to bear fruit for years to come.  I am so thankful for each of you.

Now I have to go cut out a coupon for my Mother's Day breakfast "croissan'wich" from Burger King.  My husband knows I'm not a jewelry girl, so this is the obvious second choice.  Keep it classy my lady friends.

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