The Things I've Learned in Pregnancy So Far.
#27. Sometimes your pen falls on the ground at work, and rather than take 15 minutes trying to stoop down and pick it up…you simply find another pen.
#54. Your friends should never leave you alone with a new kind of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
#82. Sometimes in your birthing/newborn classes you do everything you can to avoid seeing an actual birth in the videos they show. But at least once, you will not be able to avert your eyes in time...
#39. Make sure to befriend lots of women who have recently had children so that you have your own personal "Google" search when you have questions about things like cribs and labor drugs.
#80. I greatly preferred the phrase "Ring of Fire" when it simply pertained to a Johnny Cash song...
#57. We like to believe that this Baby Whisperer guy (and the grace of God) will help us to indeed have the "happiest baby on the block."
The stethoscope means he's a real doctor. And we like that.
#14. You will get a lot of "knowing" smiles from women around your age when they catch a glimpse of your growing midsection out in public...and a lot of blank blatant stares at your stomach region by older men whose look would seem to indicate that you have some sort of alien growth protruding out of your body that they cannot comprehend in the 7 seconds in which you pass one another...
#89. You will never tire of little knees kicking you, even when they seem inches away from physically bursting out of your stomach. Sick.
Yet beautiful.
#92. The verses in the Bible that talk about "pains like that of a woman in labor..." will take on a whole new meaning.
#43. Pregnancy, infancy, and body building are the only phases of life where you still feel good about yourself when someone says, "You are getting so big!"
#61. You (or your husband in my case) will feel pretty cool walking around Target shooting their fancy laser gun at the items you want to add to your baby registry.**
#102. "Baby needs....." is a fabulous precursor to any sentence and immediately justifies whatever demand that follows.
**If there are knives or various hiking accessories on our baby registry, this is why.
#54. Your friends should never leave you alone with a new kind of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
#82. Sometimes in your birthing/newborn classes you do everything you can to avoid seeing an actual birth in the videos they show. But at least once, you will not be able to avert your eyes in time...
#39. Make sure to befriend lots of women who have recently had children so that you have your own personal "Google" search when you have questions about things like cribs and labor drugs.
#80. I greatly preferred the phrase "Ring of Fire" when it simply pertained to a Johnny Cash song...
#57. We like to believe that this Baby Whisperer guy (and the grace of God) will help us to indeed have the "happiest baby on the block."
The stethoscope means he's a real doctor. And we like that.
#14. You will get a lot of "knowing" smiles from women around your age when they catch a glimpse of your growing midsection out in public...and a lot of blank blatant stares at your stomach region by older men whose look would seem to indicate that you have some sort of alien growth protruding out of your body that they cannot comprehend in the 7 seconds in which you pass one another...
#89. You will never tire of little knees kicking you, even when they seem inches away from physically bursting out of your stomach. Sick.
Yet beautiful.
#92. The verses in the Bible that talk about "pains like that of a woman in labor..." will take on a whole new meaning.
#43. Pregnancy, infancy, and body building are the only phases of life where you still feel good about yourself when someone says, "You are getting so big!"
#61. You (or your husband in my case) will feel pretty cool walking around Target shooting their fancy laser gun at the items you want to add to your baby registry.**
#102. "Baby needs....." is a fabulous precursor to any sentence and immediately justifies whatever demand that follows.
**If there are knives or various hiking accessories on our baby registry, this is why.
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