"This should go down in some sort of Baby Shower history book..." - Mary Ann Cates 03/19/2011

On Saturday, the kid currently residing in me had her first blowout party with some of her very favorite women in the world who she hasn't technically met yet but who occasionally speak directly into my stomach (an otherwise uncomfortable scenario) so that their voice is easily recognizable by her once she enters the world :)

She was spoiled with everything a new little human needs as they enter the world.

Well, almost....

I will admit that there are some obvious glaring omissions in an otherwise maxed out registry. I can't quite figure it out, except to assume that people are waiting until closer to the due date to purchase the following entirely (in my opinion) obvious childhood necessities:

#1. A pony.

How else will our young, impressionable child learn responsibility? Chores? Dolls? Digi Pets????

No! Only by having a pony.

This was my argument when I was 7 (minus the Digi Pets, which I would have loved I'm certain) and it is still my argument these "few" years later....

We will call him Star. Because he looks like a rock star. Like that Justin Bieber.

#2. Barbie Car.

Much like the number one neglected wish-list item above, this practical mode of childhood transportation (for when the pony gets tired) is in no means a way of vicariously living out through my child the dreams that were left unfulfilled in my own formidable years...

Look how happy this girl is! Do you think an "imaginary" car would get her safely to Albertsons to pick up milk for her mother like this actual car would???

No. And we'll buy a helmet too. Please. We're nothing if not responsible people.

#3. The Wii

Okay, first of all, it's not like we're asking for a "Kinect" here. That would be a bit over the top for a baby registry. We realize this.

Which is why we are willingly downgrading to this cumbersome contraption that you have to adhere to your wrist to even use. But how else will our kid learn any sort of hand-eye coordination (for successful pony-steering)?? By trying to force different brightly colored shapes into their corresponding slots? By wasting their time trying to learn to ride a bike or cross some monkey bars?? Nope!

By working out with a virtual Jillian Michaels and bowling with a virtual **Walter Ray Williams!

#4. In Ground Heated Swimming Pool.

Kids have to learn how to swim in this day and age. And swimming lessons are expensive.

I don't really feel like this one needs a great deal of explanation because it constitutes such a valid need.

#5. Super Nanny

We don't want her to tell us how we're faltering as parents, but maybe just come visit for a few days when our kids are older and speak to them in her lovely accent.

Actually, maybe she should be the one talking loudly into my stomach at this stage of our child's development so her wisdom can be fully imparted before the kid even gets a chance to be influenced by outside sources. I should bump this up to #1 on the registry.

#6. Lifetime Disneyland Pass (for 3)

I waited 29 long years to get there, and thanks to some generous person, our child won't have to.

In fact, I believe we have a standing verbal agreement with the Scandretts to go with us to Disney Land soon after our child is born and hold her while we ride rides. Putting it on here makes it legally binding I'm fairly certain.

#7. The First Ascent "Igniter" Jacket. (developed and tested by the world's top mountain guides).

I don't recall actually registering for this personally, but my husband said (after revealing what I thought to be a smile but he insisted was a twitch) that he would make sure it got properly returned if we accidentally received more than one of these in varying colors (like black, blue, or green).



















**I Googled "Famous Bowlers" and Walter Ray Williams came up. Just so I don't give anyone a wrong impression of my falsely vast bowling knowledge.